OK, listen carefully people. I've politely ignored. I've thanked people for their advice, I've answered the inane comments as nicely as I can, but now I am giving fair warning. If you are easily offended, male, or under the age of 18, now would be a good time to stop reading. You have been warned, proceed at your own risk.
Here is the deal. When you hear someone is pregnant with her 7th (or 5th, or 10th, or any number) you may not tell her that she is very fertile, may be fertile well into her 40's and needs to think of ways to prevent pregnancy. Let me be REALLY clear with you. I probably know more than you do about how my body works.
1. It's MY body. I've lived in it for over 37 years and I know how it ticks.
2. I have always been really interested in how this all works and I have read everything I can get my hands on to learn more about it. Unless you want an earful, don't put a quarter in or you will get more than your money's worth on this subject. Unless you are a midwife or OB/GYN, I'm pretty sure I know at least as much as you do about how women's bodies work, especially the one I live in.
3. I have actually had two medical professionals tell me "Wow, you really know how your body works." See? I officially know my body.
I am not stupid. I know, there are women who have many babies to collect the welfare check. I know, there are women who are addicted to something and just have babies because they are out of it. I know some women are or were forced by their husbands to have many children. If you don't know me well enough to know that I don't fit in those categories, you don't know me well enough to discuss reproduction with me.
Please understand that if I have many children that does not prevent someone else from having children. It's not like there is just one big ovary from which all eggs flow. That's just not how it works. Yes, I really have had people suggest that it does work that way.
I am not worried about overpopulating Earth. Really, as many articles and studies as you might throw at me about overpopulation, I could also toss articles and studies at you about how population is in decline in many countries and the dire consequences of such a trend.
If you are concerned about how I will pay to put my children through college, feel free to contribute. If you can't afford to contribute, then keep your mouth shut. We have a plan, however, I am considering charging a stupid tax when people ask stupid questions and that should help considerably.
Please don't tell me I am wasting my degree by "just" raising my children. The work I do is really important and harder than anything I have ever done. Frankly, I've seen enough to know that when someone fails to do a good job rearing a child, everybody suffers. Also, when you say I am wasting my education, I have to wonder if you think only uneducated or ignorant people should raise children. That doesn't sound like a good plan.
Finally, don't say "better you than me," "I can't stand the two I have," or anything else that makes children sound awful, especially in front of your children. Ouch. Really, don't you know they hear you? If you hate them, I can't really help you, but you might at least keep it to yourself and save yourself the cost of psych appointments later in life. Sheesh.
Dan loves babies. I love babies. The day we can't have any more somebody is going to have to work to convince us that we can't just spend every Sunday morning in the nursery rocking other people's babies. We love children. We even like the difficult ones. No, really. We would be just fine with having 12 children. No doctor or medical professional has ever told me I shouldn't have any more children. We have no difficulty caring for the children we have (although if you are concerned you are welcome to come fold laundry anytime, but if you make any of these stupid comments, I will attempt to drown you in mismatched socks.) We believe children are a blessing from God. We believe that God always provides for his children. We have seen it happen and have no doubt provision will continue. If those statements cause you to cringe, there is a fundamental difference between us and you might want to just let it go.
I believe most people would agree that it is unkind and unwise to make the following statements to someone who has one child or no children -
"Well, do you know how to conceive a child?"
"Gosh, don't you think your child will be lonely?"
"Who will take care of you in your old age?"
"Are you infertile, or did you choose to let your ovaries shrivel up and die?"
"Wow, you look so old to have no children."
"What a waste of a perfectly good uterus."
"Don't you like children?"
"Don't you know if you don't have children there won't be enough people paying into Social Security? You are killing our country! The Muslims are going to take over!!!" (This is outrageous, I agree, please don't throw things at me.)
If it would be wrong to say these things, and I think it would be, why is it okay for anyone to say the opposite to a mother with more than a couple children?
Ahhh, rant over. You can go back to what you were doing now.